Direct flashes and lights are high in contrast, whereas diffused flashes and lights are low in contrast.
So if you're going for that soft look, use diffused light. You can buy a diffuser for your flash, but that can be expensive. An alternative would be to bounce the light of the flash off of something, like a wall or perhaps posterboard. You can also make your own diffuser for your flash.
Ring flashes are pretty nifty, but as always, it's expensive. Ring flashes creates an even illumination of light on your subject and is also diffused.

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